RiP Di

Haath pakadkar sadak paar karaane waalee beech raaste mein tanhaa chod gayee
Raaton mein khud jagkar sulaane waalee hameshaa ke liye so gayee
Banaakar humein insaan wo insaano kee duniyaa ko alvidaa keh gayee
Ek behen kee rooh uske jism se judaa ho gayee...

My Life

Till now, I have held on to the glorious pages of my life and never allowed the ink on them to fade. I have found solace in the fact that my past was beautiful. With every passing moment, the ink threatens to fade and a new battle begins. Till now, I have been a victor. Like a palace bereft of its treasure, I want to revive my glory but in this selfish world, this dream of mine will always be a dream...

Me and my cigarettes

I still remember being with you in the ruthless nights of winter wrapped in a shawl. Together, the three of us: you, me and your packet of cigarettes used to have a great time. You won't ever know that how divine the feeling is unless you smoke, you said to me while smoking in one such night. All right, give me one, I replied and lit the nicotine-filled stick and inhaled it for the first time. Since then, I have inhaled it more than I have exhaled it.
After you left my life forever, I tried my best to quit smoking only because, smoking with you was what made it beautiful, but, I failed.
My lungs have grown a penchant for nicotine and the puffs of my cigarettes look beautiful to my eyes.
Whenever I smoke in the ruthless nights of winter, alone, wrapped in a shawl, I MISS YOU...

Aaj bhee kartee hai wo humaaree hayat kee hifazat

Tadaptee hai rooh uskee uske jism ke liye
Jab bhee hum tanhaa raaton mein uskee baahon ke liye taraste hain
Us duniya se kartee hai wo dua humaaree hayat kee
Jab bhee hum us duniya mein jaane kee dua karte hain...

She redefined the word "even"

I made her and she broke me. Before leaving my life forever, "now, we are even" was all she said to me...

My once upon a time darling life

Dear life of mine,
Relent a bit sweetheart, so that I can at least breathe. I never wanted you to develop a penchant for laughing at my tears, but still, you did it.
Be mine for a few more years.
Love,
Your's Eshan Colvinian...

My tribute to my cigarettes

I used to find solace in the blessed puffs of my divine cigarettes. Now, after 11 years of my persistence with the embellished sticks of nicotine, my solace has been replaced by my bliss and the reason for it continues to be my very own cigarettes...

Please come back to this world didi

"Why don't you ever come to the airport to see me off?", didi used to ask me. "Because, I can't ever see you going away from me" was what I always replied.
"Then, how will you be able to see me when I will leave this world?", didi used to ask me. "I will leave this world before you", I always replied and then, she used to slap me and then hug me with tears in her eyes.
She left this world before me and I won't ever know that how I was able to see her going away from me from this world to that world forever...

Rest in peace my dearest sister

"What is it that you want me to bring for you from paris?" was what you asked me before leaving for the fashion capital of this world. A ten cent euro coin was my reply. You kissed my forehead and we physically separated from each other for a month with tears in our eyes. A note of hundred euroes was what you brought for me. I held that note in my hand and told you that this is much more than what I wanted. "You will always get much more than whatever you will ever want" was your reply.
When we were seven seas apart from each other, I missed you and now after being a world apart from each other, I crave for your presence in my life...

A part of him

Ever since he left this world, an ocean of tears is begging to be discharged from her eyes, but, she has decided not to relent because, a part of him lives even in her tears...

I am proud of being alive

Even after being bereft and bereaved, I have kept myself alive in order to keep the blessed souls of my friends happy. Physicality has nothing to do with being together. With every passing moment, the beauty of love continues to ameliorate...

Red blood in place of a new red dress

All he wanted from her for his birthday was to put on a new red dress and wait for him. She was unable to afford it. When he came back, he saw her lifeless body adorned with her blood waiting for him. The colour of blood is also red, so, if not her new red dress, then, her red blood will certainly make him happy was what she thought before committing suicide...

Isse pehle kee main meree is tanhaa hayat ko alvidaa kahoon

Mere zoon aaj aakhree baar is tanhaa shab ko bazm banaade,
Mujhe tu tujhmein uskaa deedaar karaade.
Jo nahin hai ab is duniyaa mein tu use aaj mujhe falak pe dikhaade,
Ustak aaj tu uske is yaar kaa pyaar pahuchaade...

Sweaters

Every year, she still knits sweaters for her daughter in order to keep her warm in the ruthless months of winter. Afterall, how can a mother's love for her daughter ever reduce, how can she ever stop doing something which she is doing from the moment she knew about her pregnancy and how can she ever accept this fact that her daughter is dead while she is alive?...

2013 was her annus mirabilis

On the first of january, 2013, she, while enjoying her favourite coffee at her favourite coffeehouse, saw him for the first time. It was love at first sight. Within a week, she proposed to him and he said yes. On the 31st of january, they got married and on the 7th of february they went to paris for their honeymoon. On the first of december, she gave birth to twin daughters. She named them priya and shivani on the 7th of december. On the first of january, 2014, he met with a fatal accident. Anyway, 2013 was her annus mirabilis and this is what she has found solace in since then...

My Life

My life would have been beautiful if it would have been like a cigarette. After my current cigarette runs out of puffs, I close my eyes for a moment and light a new one and the puffs are mine again. Similarly, i wished that after closing my eyes for a moment, may my friends return from that world to this world forever.
My life would have been beautiful only if it would have been possible...

Pashmina Nights

I still crave for those beautiful nights in which we used to be wrapped in a black pashmina shawl and write verses of our divine love on each other's lips without ever running out of words...

My Dehradun

Bunked classes, divine friends and shared puffs remind me of my two glorious years in dehradun. Dehradun, a place where maggi is in abundance and roads are often embellished with rain. I am craving to live that life once more in order to be certain that, it was not just a beautiful dream, it really happened in my life. There are few things in this mortal world for which no matter how much I crave, won't ever be mine again. Dehradun is one such thing...

The word death was not in his vocabulary

His five year old brain failed to understand that why, even after being set on fire, his dad is sleeping peacefully?...

My life sucks without you

I still remember and miss those moments when, I wrote the lyrics of our love story by kissing your sternum and you, lost in bliss, craved for oxygen but still, never told me to stop...

A beautiful surprise

One day, she told him to meet her at 6 in the evening and put on a black shirt and she also told him that she has a beautiful surprise for him. He left from his office at 5:30 and had to cover 60 kilometers in half an hour in order to meet her, therefore, he drove his car as fast as possible and consequently, he was killed in an accident. She saw his lifeless body which was adorned with a black shirt. That beautiful surprise was the news that she was pregnant...

His doctor, after 6 months, gave up and told her that now, it is just a matter of 3 or 4 nights. She, instead of waiting to see him die in front of her eyes opted for a suicide and his cancer united them forever in that world after three days of her death...

Delhi chhodne ka dil nahin karta

Aisa kya hai Delhi mein jo mujhe kheechke yahaan baar baar le aataa hai?
Delhi ne mujhe mere pyaar kee baahon mein khush dekhaa thaa aur aaj delhi kee imaaraton kee khaamoshee meree tanhaa zindagee par rotee hai. Main khush hoon ye dekhkar kee koee saath hasne waalee nahin toh kam se kam koee saath rone waalee toh hai...

My dearest doll, please tell the rain either, not to
touch me or, not to bring your sillage along with
it from that world to this world while touching
me...

A rose for his darling daughter

Every evening, he went home from office with a rose for his daughter. She always used to keep that rose on her bed and sleep peacefully. She left this world at the age of 9, but, her dad, still, every evening, goes from office to her grave with a rose for his daughter so that she can sleep peacefully...

On her ninth birthday, she asked her mom to get her the most beautiful doll of all time as her birthday gift. Her mom, therefore, gifted her a mirror...

I am so tired of dragging my
lonely life on and on that, now, I don't crave
for anyone's entry into my life, now, all I
crave for is my exit from this world...

I won't ever be alone. My puffs, my loneliness and the memories of my beautiful past will always be with me...

My evenings, once lit by my friends are now lit by my cigarettes. Then, I wore a divine fragrance and now, I wear the fragrance of my puffs...

I am sorry for the proposal never
made, for the toast never raised, for the hands
never held, for the movies watched alone..I am
proud of the tequila nights, the pillow fights, the
friends made, the memories which won't ever fade,
the french songs, the photos clicked and the puffs
shared...

A girl's character is defined by
her promiscuity, not by her virginity...

The news of her pregnancy separated her from alcohol.
The news of her stillborn daughter united her with alcohol forever...

Pristine beauty, a beautiful heart
and a fucked up past. Au revoir ma vie she said
for the last time before committing suicide...

eshan colvinian: tere sapne mujhe is duniyaa se
us duniyaa mein jaane nahin dete..teraa us
duniyaa mein rehnaa mujhe is duniyaa mein rehne
nahin detaa..jo shaamein tere saath apnee lagteen
theen..tum bin wo shaamein lagteen hain
paraayee..tere saath guzree meree har raat thee
roshan..ab meree har tanhaa raat se roshni hai
roothee...

He converted her each and every
dream into reality including her dream of his
death...

Wo thee toh zindagee kaa apnee
hum har saal jashn manaate the..ab toh hum har
saal sirf shamaaon ko bujhaakar yaad karte hain
usko jo kabhee un shamaaon ko jalaayaa kartee
thee...

I always miss your divine innocence

you never hurt me till the last moment of your life
because you were always certain about this that
hurting me will literally break me...

My life was beautiful before you ran out of yours...

Each and every drop of rain, while
we were together, was beautiful. Now, we are a
world away from each other and each and every
drop of rain has been raped by a fucked up thing
called destiny...

She was happy with him till he lived and then, every night, the puffs of her cigarettes lulled her to sleep for the rest of her life...

Mom, dad and their darling daughter

He left this world when their daughter was a
month old. She brought their daughter up by
opting for prostitution after being rejected in all the
interviews and found solace in the fact that she
was not a virgin, anyway...

With tears in her eyes, she said goodbye to him for the last time. He would have certainly stopped her from crying if he would have been alive...

A beautiful love story of a dancer and a writer

They saw each other for the first time at a
coffeehouse. One tall cappuccino, he ordered.
She ordered one tall caffè latte. Just a table for
two was vacant at that time, therefore, they sat
together face to face that evening for the first
time. He initiated the conversation, hi, kush,
hello, shivani, she replied. Suddenly, their
phones rang at the same time. Both had the
same ringtone: The Holly and the Ivy. They
smiled at this coincidence, he, a little more than
her. Both pressed the red key in order to
disconnect the call. What do you do, he asked?I
am a dancer, she replied, you?I am a writer, he
replied. Its late, I have to go, its just 8 in the
evening, he said, yeah, but the place where I
live is not safe for girls after 7 in the evening,
she said. Then, I won't allow you to go home
alone, he said. Who the hell are you to stop me
from going home alone, she asked?I am just a
smoker, he said. Why the hell do you smoke,
she asked?who the hell are you to ask me
about it? Both smiled at this coincidence, this
time, she, a little more than him. Both of them
realized that they are in love and they proposed
to each other at the same time. Both smiled at
this coincidence equally, their destiny, a little
more than them. She licked off the milk of the
capuccino which was left on his lips. They
married each other and every evening they went
together to the same coffeehouse and she
always licked off the milk of the cappuccino
which was left on his lips. She left this world 3
months later. He never went to that coffeehouse
again and always cried for the rest of his life, a
little more than anyone ever. He, till the last
moment of his life, always missed all those
beautiful moments when she always used to
lick off the milk of the cappuccino from his lips
which he always left on his lips deliberately,
while they were together in this world...

Whenever a shot of tequila enters my body, then, the feeling which I have for the next 120 seconds is what I call euphoria...

A day before their marriage, she told him that she will marry him only if he will quit smoking from the day of their marriage till infinity, therefore, he left her at the altar...

They met in Delhi's metro train for the first and the last time

Their eyes met for the first time. It was love at first sight. She wore the fragrance of a million roses, he, of a million cigarettes. She closed in the gap between them and proposed to him. His cancerous body compelled him to say no to her proposal...

In the seventh month of her first and last pregnancy, she continued to cry and they lifted him on four shoulders to begin the last journey of his life...

Love Led To Prostitution

Their ten years of friendship led to their
marriage..he tried his best to quit smoking but
he failed..his health continued to aggravate..on
their first marriage anniversary she told him
that she is pregnant..his cancerous body felt
great..on her twenty seventh birthday her
husband left this world and their daughter came
to this world..she smiled from one eye and cried
from another eye..she ran out of money..in
order to brought her daughter up she taught
english in a school..fifteen thousand rupees was
her monthly salary..she started to eat only once
in a day but still every month she ran out of
money..she sent her daughter to the best
school..whenever her daughter made any wish
she always sold her body..to see a smile on her
daughter's face every night she pretended to
enjoy sex..she happily persisted with
prostitution because it made her daughter
happy..on her fifteenth birthday she smoked for
the first time in front of her mother..her mother
tried her best to stop her from smoking but she
failed..after few months her daughter realized
her mistake and tried her best to quit smoking
but like her father she also failed..on her fourty
third birthday her sixteen year old daughter left
this world and she died a lonely death three
hours later...

My Life

A life full of misery has found such solace in
puffs that I no more crave for bliss...

French+English United Forever

This is the second tritina which
I have written:
French+English United Forever
It was their first day of college
He, a french expert, she, an english expert
Their friendship converted into love
Everyone in their college knew that they were in
love
They did everything together in the college
He ameliorated her french and she made him an
english expert
He got a job in mumbai of a french expert
Everything changed except their love
They always missed their college
He left his job of a french expert for his love
and married her in the campus of their college...

DESTINY

This is the first tritina which
I have written:
DESTINY
He was an mba and she was a whore
He worked in a bank, she, in a brothel
One day, while it rained, their destinies played
a divine game
Both of them, then, were unaware of this
divine game
He, for the first time, saw her and
immediately fell in love with that whore
She, too, did the same and forgot that they
were in a brothel
Their love story started from that brothel
Now, they understood that their destinies
have played a divine game
He left her at the altar because she was a
whore
Their destinies never again played any divine
game and that whore committed suicide in
that brothel...

While you lived in this world..bliss was a synonym of my life, rain was beautiful and petrichor was divine..after you left this world..bliss is just a word in my vocabulary, rain has lost its beauty and petrichor sucks...

She hated rain and everything
connected with rain..then one day he came in
her life..she fell in love with petrichor, rain and
him..then one day he left this world..from that
moment till the remaining three hours of her life
she hated petrichor and rain...

Her sixteenth birthday took her
virginity away from her..her seventeenth
birthday took her mom away from her..her
eighteenth birthday took her dad away from
her..she desperately waited for her nineteenth
birthday because her life was the only thing
which was left with her..her nineteenth birthday
took her life away from her..before her death
she smiled for the first and the last time after
continuously crying for the last three years...

I have changed...

Once a king of hearts is now a slave of puffs...